Olympic Athletes - Incredibly Focused, or Victims of Tunnel Vision?

Ok, I suppose Olympic athletes are some of the few people in the world it's probably wrong to shit on, so I am going to go with "incredibly focused." Anyways, I'm probably just jealous that there is no way I would ever be so committed to something that I could take it to the level of Olympic glory.

I wonder, did these athletes ever feel that they were missing out on a normal life? What interests/friends/pursuits did they have to abandon to become the "best" at one particular thing? They all seem to think it was worth it, does this mean that their interests were really so focused that it was a joy to do nothing but snowboard, or luge, or skate, day in and day out for most of their young lives?

The Olympics are now long gone, but I find myself still thinking about what it takes to become "the best in the world" at something. Does it all come down to natural talent? Or does the athlete's level-of-commitment actually play the biggest role?

Perfect example of natural talent paired with lack of commitment

I sometimes worry that in my frenzy to see and do it all, that I will miss out on actually becoming GOOD at something. There were the years of ballet, tap, jazz, and modern dance, the years of piano, the years of flute, the multitude of creative writing classes, basketball practice, track and field, swimming, Spanish class, a half-hearted attempt at Italian . . . . I seem to pursue subjects I enjoy and have have some natural ability in, but once the pursuit takes up too much of my time, or forces me to abandon other interests, I let it go. So at this point, I know a medium amount about a lot of things, but I can't really claim expertise in many areas (although I do on a regular basis.)

There's a lot of areas I hope to excel in - writing, business, philosophizing, cooking, wine, fitness - but if I can't pick something to focus in, I'll probably just end up being “pretty good” at a lot of things.

Unless of course they give out awards for "world's best generalist."

An Unfortunate Symptom of Maturity

There are days when I wish I was "more mature," and had a better understanding of "it all," and there are days when I don't.

Today is the latter.

Today is one of those days when I realize that gaining perspective and wisdom is like leaving Plato's cave - once you've grasped certain truths, it's impossible to go back to the naivety you so enjoyed before. (I've also decided that seeing naivety for what it is is a big indication that you no longer possess it.)

You age with or without gaining wisdom, so I still think "wise" is the way to go, but I think it would be easier to go through life learning nothing, so you can retain the high hopes, bold courage, and open-mindedness of childhood.

Not to mention, the more you figure shit out, the more annoyed you get by everyone who hasn't.

I think about all the drunk evenings riding back on Cal train from San Francisco, not caring who saw me or if I even had a seat. Or walking down the street on a summer's day San Luis Obispo, requiring nothing but a friend and a hidden pipe to have the best day ever. Or befriending everyone I met, accepting the motives of everyone as pure.

Sometimes I even miss the times that made for the worst experiences but the best stories. Or the times when I was surprised by the way a situation turned out, for better or worse. With age, things become less volatile, and better overall, but as they say, the sweet isn't as sweet without the sour.

I find myself living now-a-days with the stifling lens of experience. I know what I like, I know what annoys me, and I generally know what warning signs to look for in any given situation, what triggers drama, what missteps could turn around and bite me, etc. With this clear sense of how situations might pan out, I have a hard time understanding or excusing people for their ignorance about "obvious" things. And I have a hard time just letting things ride, because I can see a mistake or a misstep as it's beginning to happen.

This is making planning for Europe a little bit harder than anticipated, because I know what can go wrong so I'm going a little bit crazy ensuring that it doesn't, wanting to plan things down to the last, carefully organized detail. Wanting to prove that I can "do this trip right" and without making the sorts of crazy mistakes that are probably part of most nomadic journeys across multiple countries.

It leads me to wonder, is this why so many people become "set in their ways?" Because they've done things differently or let things go in the past to their detriment? Stayed up too late and suffered at work, neglected to be on time and missed their ride, failed to pay attention and ended up in the wrong part of town, trusted the wrong person and gotten their shit stolen? Can we blame them for knowing what works, and sticking to the script? Should we look at this as stagnant rigidity, or as an awareness of outcomes?

And am I playing devil's advocate right now for everything that's wrong in the world, or have I stumbled upon an inconvenient and unsettling truth?

That Je Ne Sais Quoi

Richard Branson is a hero of mine.




If you need more evidence than the hotness of his sexual exploits, his company produced this - the best airline safety announcement video in existence.



The exasperated bull gets me every time.

Richard Branson has everything I want - he's got swagger, money, opportunities for travel, a kick-ass accent, friends in high places, unparalleled business savvy, and complete and total freedom. He's a living example of someone who's got "the right stuff."

In some ways, he's a motivator, in other ways, he makes me doubt that the success I want to achieve in my own lifetime is even possible, because it seems that people who achieve what he's achieved show their signs of greatness from birth. The guy established his first successful business at 16, took constant big risks at every opportunity, failed in ways that didn't make an impact, and succeeded in ways that did. There was never a time in his life when he WASN'T the face of "Go Big or Go Home." If you believe that Branson's brand of success is one part intelligence and ability, and 5 parts guts, luck, and who you know, it's a little harder to believe that a pretty average 25 year old marketer chick could aspire to reach those heights.

I often find myself cruising through life, not taking too many risks, challenging the status-quo in ways that don't ruffle anyone's feathers TOO much, and I wonder if there's something else I should be doing to position myself in a place to take that big leap. And then I wonder - if I have to think this hard about it, maybe it's just not in the cards for me. The only way I can quell the anxiety of these thoughts is to try harder, to move up, to increase my reach - sometimes I wonder if that's what this whole European tour is about. Feeling like I've got what it takes if I can just find the right place, and be there waiting at the right time.

I Have Finally Classified My Political Leanings - Time for a Beer

I would call myself fairly politically independent. Yes, I caught Obama-mania and yes I loathe Limbaugh, Beck, Hannity, born-agains, and corporate greed along with the rest of fake America, but I also am of the opinion that Ayn Rand is a brilliant thinker, that Conservatives are generally better with money, and that government-run health care could be kinda scary. In that spirit, I watch the Daily Show every morning so I can maintain a level headed cynicism of government, and start the day snarky.

If you don't watch The Daily Show, you should. Jon Stewart is a God. A hot God. I would love to have a conversation with him some day. All we'd do is talk . . . I swear.

This morning I was drinking my coffee, zoning out in front of the tv, and I made a conscious decision to join the Stewart School of Politics. This School is neither liberal nor conservative (at least, not openly) and it embraces rational and analytical thought above all, promising no loyalty to any party. In today's political atmosphere, people are often so polarized that it's impossible to have a non-heated and rational discussion anymore - even with the people you generally agree with. In contrast, Stewart is almost always maddeningly level, promoting logical ideas from either side, and shitting on the hypocrisy of both as well. He considers McCain, Huckabee, and others, as friends and worthy thought-partners in some respects, and his ability to see past party lines allows him encourage bipartisan discussion and (hopefully) understanding.

Below, Stewart mocks Keith Olbermann - a man who, in the fall of 2008 was a political hero of mine, but who has lately seemed just as loony as the crazies on the other side. Olbermann has provided me with the perfect chance to apply the Stewart School of Thought - although he is in the right camp, I can't support someone who spouts off in this manner. Stick to the facts, Sir.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Special Comment - Keith Olbermann's Name-Calling
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

Open Letter to an Ex

You’re probably surprised to be getting a letter from me. So, let me start by saying - I feel like there was never be a good time to write/send this, or any logical reason why it would be worth it to do so. However, sending this letter has been on my mind from time to time over the last year or so, and some things have happened in my life recently that made me realize ‘it’s now or never.’ So, here goes.

First of all, I wanted to say that I feel like such a moron every time I picture our last interaction in my mind (what I remember of it anyway.) I don’t want to imagine what sort of impression that left on you, that I had become just another crazy drunk girl. I guess I was for a couple of years, so, there’s that. But, I would hate it if you thought that was the forever me. I think at the time I was just still angry about all the ups and downs and impossibilities of knowing you, and, a daily diet of booze makes anyone a little bit emotional.So, sorry for that. I hope you understand where I was coming from.

I also wanted to say that I think it’s sad that our paths have diverged so completely and possibly irrevocably, but I understand why they did, and to be honest, I don’t think I would change it if I could. But I think it makes everything that transpired weigh a little more tragically in my head. That is one of those problems that has no solution, unfortunately.

Most importantly, I want you to know that when I look back on our whole fiasco/saga, I am painfully aware that it’s both the most impactful experience I’ve had in my life up till now as well as the experience I least understand, had the least amount of control over, and feel the least settled about. Perhaps one is a function of the other, but either way, I don’t like the distantly sad, confused, unsettled feeling I have whenever a song, dream, movie, reference, etc, brings something from that time to the front of my mind. What to do about any of that, I have no idea.

It’s really interesting to me now-a-days to think about how different I am from the days when you knew me. I think I’m a lot better, which I suppose is an unexpected benefit of maturity.

I remember you saying once that you thought I made all my decisions with my heart, and now I don’t think that many of my friends would say that about me. I sort of wish I had had the opportunity for you to know me as an adult because I think I finally started coming out the other end of the most difficult years of my life, and I am embarrassed frankly, that the last impression I made on someone who was so important to me at one time, was such a disaster.

I wonder if we’d even get along, if we’d even have similar world views today, or if all the commonalities are really gone. I think they might be.

I guess I don’t really know what sort of response I want from you. I’m not even necessarily looking for one. I just felt like, if I was going to tell you all of this I better just do it, so I could stop contemplating doing it and get on with my life. I got engaged last week, so I am ready to be done with you forever.

I’m sure you’ve been able to analyze everything in your head and draw some conclusion that brought closure to the whole thing, and I say, that must be nice. I just hope you know that17-23 were the most difficult, crazy years of my life, I’m sorry for most of our interactions during that time, and that, maybe in another life there will be a chance to work all the past shit out. That would be awesome.

Anyway, I hope this doesn’t seem too out of the blue. Hope all is well.