I know I can be a movement-driven, experience junkie. I love this (obviously) - I think it's one of the best ways to get through life. However, the flip side is that I frequently forget to take time to appreciate the subtleties of life, or find the joy balance. To correct this tendency, I am creating this segment - Underrated Activities. Hopefully, this will help me to force myself to slow down when needed, and encourage me to find value in thine little things.
This weekend, I spent Friday night alone. Totally alone.
It was the first time since November that I've had an opportunity to do so, and it was absolutely amazing. (BTW, the "alone time" is not the underrated activity here. I think everyone knows that that's amazing.)
By 8pm, I had made dinner, walked the dog, worked out, taken a shower, smoked a bowl, and was pretty much through the few unwatched items in my DVR. I suddenly got the urge to check out the local Barnes and Nobel. I was there on a mission over the holidays, but hadn't gone to a book store alone to "hang out" in . . . quite possibly years.
I always forget that a book store is not really properly titled. Yes, you purchase books, but what you're really buying is knowledge. And that's pretty awesome. In the two hours I was there, I caught up on all the recent magazine covers, memorized 2 recipes to make at my engagement party, learned how to make my own cocktail napkins, read about 20 pages in a child psychology book, and researched British castles. All for free.
Side note: If I had been in a splurgy mood I would have bought a red velvet cupcake. Mmmmm.
I imagine there are a ton of other 20-something professionals who never make time for things like the bookstore, or the public library. What a mistake! And what a mistake I had been making!
So - if you're looking for something fun, free, and rejuvenating, smoke a fat bowl (or not) and head on out the nearest bookstore. You're welcome.
Showing posts with label discovery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label discovery. Show all posts
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Holding Yourself (And Everyone Around You) to a Higher Standard
In other posts I've mused about maturity, about finding that magic age when you're not old enough to be rigid and senile, or young enough to be an idiot. According to this article, I might be closer to that magic age than I think.
It turns out, you don't reach full maturity until age 25 - and by maturity, I mean consistency in the following areas:
• Decision making
• Use of appropriate judgment
• Rational thinking
• Integration of emotion & critical thinking
• Ability to think clearly about long-term outcomes that stem from behaviors
• Global thinking vs. self-centered thinking
I wish this research had received more publicity when it first was released in 2005, because there are many critical issues that should be viewed differently with this developmental framework in mind.
For example, what do these findings mean for the freshmen girls who bone down with 5th year seniors? How does this research impact young voters, drivers, or those 18 year old kids who run off to join the military? How does this change the way we view young criminals, especially those who commit non-violent crimes? Can we excuse them all as non-rational decision makers? Is this development time-line universal and all-encompassing?
What's more, I wonder how this research impacts my own life. According to Brain Scientists, I should now (as of November 2009) be completely equipped to be rational and successful, consistently doing all these things required to be a mature adult. It also has meant, in practice, that I have begun to see people who DON'T do these things as completely infuriating and immature. Which seems unfair, since only 3 months ago (according to the Brain Scientists) I couldn't do these things myself.
Is this part of growing up? That you suddenly have no patience for those who haven't reached the level of wisdom and maturity that you believe yourself to possess? And what does it mean if, after reaching the magical age of 25, you still do ridiculously stupid and immature things? Like make ridiculous threats in the heat of a stupid argument? Or purchase things you can't afford? Or get so shitty drunk you are unable to keep down water the next day?
Maybe reaching 25 isn't proof of maturity, but it does seem to be a place where you stop, look around, and take inventory of your life. That's certainly what I've been doing lately, and I don't think I'm alone. I just have to hope that I won't ever take my age for granted or assume that numbers on a time line will magically equate to maturity - because although I've "made it" in terms of frontal lobe development, I probably still have a lot of fucking up to do.
It turns out, you don't reach full maturity until age 25 - and by maturity, I mean consistency in the following areas:
• Decision making
• Use of appropriate judgment
• Rational thinking
• Integration of emotion & critical thinking
• Ability to think clearly about long-term outcomes that stem from behaviors
• Global thinking vs. self-centered thinking
I wish this research had received more publicity when it first was released in 2005, because there are many critical issues that should be viewed differently with this developmental framework in mind.
For example, what do these findings mean for the freshmen girls who bone down with 5th year seniors? How does this research impact young voters, drivers, or those 18 year old kids who run off to join the military? How does this change the way we view young criminals, especially those who commit non-violent crimes? Can we excuse them all as non-rational decision makers? Is this development time-line universal and all-encompassing?
What's more, I wonder how this research impacts my own life. According to Brain Scientists, I should now (as of November 2009) be completely equipped to be rational and successful, consistently doing all these things required to be a mature adult. It also has meant, in practice, that I have begun to see people who DON'T do these things as completely infuriating and immature. Which seems unfair, since only 3 months ago (according to the Brain Scientists) I couldn't do these things myself.
Is this part of growing up? That you suddenly have no patience for those who haven't reached the level of wisdom and maturity that you believe yourself to possess? And what does it mean if, after reaching the magical age of 25, you still do ridiculously stupid and immature things? Like make ridiculous threats in the heat of a stupid argument? Or purchase things you can't afford? Or get so shitty drunk you are unable to keep down water the next day?
Maybe reaching 25 isn't proof of maturity, but it does seem to be a place where you stop, look around, and take inventory of your life. That's certainly what I've been doing lately, and I don't think I'm alone. I just have to hope that I won't ever take my age for granted or assume that numbers on a time line will magically equate to maturity - because although I've "made it" in terms of frontal lobe development, I probably still have a lot of fucking up to do.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Three Barriers to Freedom
Fear. Attachment. Expectations.
After much thought and internal debate, I've decided that these are three of the biggest barriers to adventure, change, and everything else I yearn for while sitting at my cube, dreaming about the places I'd rather be. Three nouns that are somehow inextricable from the human experience while being detrimental to it at the same time.
Fear is a no-brainer. It’s the affliction I suffer from the most, and it can be absolutely paralyzing. Fear comes in all forms - whether it's fear that my dreams/goals are unrealistic, or fear that I'll look like an idiot. Fear that my logic is wrong. Fear of failure. Fear of pain. Fear that I can’t have it all. That by the time I arrive, the destination will no longer be where I wanted to go.
While fear is easy to recognize as unproductive and unhelpful, attachment, on the other hand, can serve as both a blessing and a curse. For example, when I was planning my trip to Europe, I originally planned to quit my job, and spend 3 months (maybe more) traveling the other side of the world. Since then, the economy tanked, and quitting has become a luxury I can't afford. Because of this attachment, I realized I couldn't possibly get away for more than 2 months, and the leave/return dates must be set in stone. I can't help it - I am attached to my job.
While that is somewhat of an unfortunate attachment, there are things I've chosen to love, and chosen to be attached to, like DBo, or my current neighborhood, or my car, or my dog and cat. Things I can't live without. While I love having all these things in my life, my need to keep them around sometimes makes it a lot harder for me to look inside my own head, and pursue the potential reality independent of it all. It seems like, the more you love, the smaller your world can become. I guess in that situation all you can do is hope that your world becomes richer.
The last roadblock - my own expectations - can be the most nefarious of the three. This idea that things will be a "certain way" can easily stop you from embracing new things or exploring life - I mean, why bother if you already know what the outcome will be. I can't remember how many times I've seen people give up on something far too soon with the excuse that "it wouldn't work out" anyway. When a projection of your own expectations stops you from trying something new, you'll live a life that never reaches it's full potential.
I wouldn't be lying if I said I thought fear, attachments, and expectations were ALL bad - I suppose there is such a thing as healthy fear . . . the kind that stops you from gambling your life away. There are the attachments we love, our friends, family, pets. And then there are the expectations that help people navigate through unfamiliar situations. The trick is to find the balance, and not let these things dictate life any more than they need to. But that's hard to do, and sometimes I wonder if I've figured it out yet.
After much thought and internal debate, I've decided that these are three of the biggest barriers to adventure, change, and everything else I yearn for while sitting at my cube, dreaming about the places I'd rather be. Three nouns that are somehow inextricable from the human experience while being detrimental to it at the same time.
Fear is a no-brainer. It’s the affliction I suffer from the most, and it can be absolutely paralyzing. Fear comes in all forms - whether it's fear that my dreams/goals are unrealistic, or fear that I'll look like an idiot. Fear that my logic is wrong. Fear of failure. Fear of pain. Fear that I can’t have it all. That by the time I arrive, the destination will no longer be where I wanted to go.
While fear is easy to recognize as unproductive and unhelpful, attachment, on the other hand, can serve as both a blessing and a curse. For example, when I was planning my trip to Europe, I originally planned to quit my job, and spend 3 months (maybe more) traveling the other side of the world. Since then, the economy tanked, and quitting has become a luxury I can't afford. Because of this attachment, I realized I couldn't possibly get away for more than 2 months, and the leave/return dates must be set in stone. I can't help it - I am attached to my job.
While that is somewhat of an unfortunate attachment, there are things I've chosen to love, and chosen to be attached to, like DBo, or my current neighborhood, or my car, or my dog and cat. Things I can't live without. While I love having all these things in my life, my need to keep them around sometimes makes it a lot harder for me to look inside my own head, and pursue the potential reality independent of it all. It seems like, the more you love, the smaller your world can become. I guess in that situation all you can do is hope that your world becomes richer.
The last roadblock - my own expectations - can be the most nefarious of the three. This idea that things will be a "certain way" can easily stop you from embracing new things or exploring life - I mean, why bother if you already know what the outcome will be. I can't remember how many times I've seen people give up on something far too soon with the excuse that "it wouldn't work out" anyway. When a projection of your own expectations stops you from trying something new, you'll live a life that never reaches it's full potential.
I wouldn't be lying if I said I thought fear, attachments, and expectations were ALL bad - I suppose there is such a thing as healthy fear . . . the kind that stops you from gambling your life away. There are the attachments we love, our friends, family, pets. And then there are the expectations that help people navigate through unfamiliar situations. The trick is to find the balance, and not let these things dictate life any more than they need to. But that's hard to do, and sometimes I wonder if I've figured it out yet.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
That Je Ne Sais Quoi
Richard Branson is a hero of mine.
If you need more evidence than the hotness of his sexual exploits, his company produced this - the best airline safety announcement video in existence.
The exasperated bull gets me every time.
Richard Branson has everything I want - he's got swagger, money, opportunities for travel, a kick-ass accent, friends in high places, unparalleled business savvy, and complete and total freedom. He's a living example of someone who's got "the right stuff."
In some ways, he's a motivator, in other ways, he makes me doubt that the success I want to achieve in my own lifetime is even possible, because it seems that people who achieve what he's achieved show their signs of greatness from birth. The guy established his first successful business at 16, took constant big risks at every opportunity, failed in ways that didn't make an impact, and succeeded in ways that did. There was never a time in his life when he WASN'T the face of "Go Big or Go Home." If you believe that Branson's brand of success is one part intelligence and ability, and 5 parts guts, luck, and who you know, it's a little harder to believe that a pretty average 25 year old marketer chick could aspire to reach those heights.
I often find myself cruising through life, not taking too many risks, challenging the status-quo in ways that don't ruffle anyone's feathers TOO much, and I wonder if there's something else I should be doing to position myself in a place to take that big leap. And then I wonder - if I have to think this hard about it, maybe it's just not in the cards for me. The only way I can quell the anxiety of these thoughts is to try harder, to move up, to increase my reach - sometimes I wonder if that's what this whole European tour is about. Feeling like I've got what it takes if I can just find the right place, and be there waiting at the right time.
If you need more evidence than the hotness of his sexual exploits, his company produced this - the best airline safety announcement video in existence.
The exasperated bull gets me every time.
Richard Branson has everything I want - he's got swagger, money, opportunities for travel, a kick-ass accent, friends in high places, unparalleled business savvy, and complete and total freedom. He's a living example of someone who's got "the right stuff."
In some ways, he's a motivator, in other ways, he makes me doubt that the success I want to achieve in my own lifetime is even possible, because it seems that people who achieve what he's achieved show their signs of greatness from birth. The guy established his first successful business at 16, took constant big risks at every opportunity, failed in ways that didn't make an impact, and succeeded in ways that did. There was never a time in his life when he WASN'T the face of "Go Big or Go Home." If you believe that Branson's brand of success is one part intelligence and ability, and 5 parts guts, luck, and who you know, it's a little harder to believe that a pretty average 25 year old marketer chick could aspire to reach those heights.
I often find myself cruising through life, not taking too many risks, challenging the status-quo in ways that don't ruffle anyone's feathers TOO much, and I wonder if there's something else I should be doing to position myself in a place to take that big leap. And then I wonder - if I have to think this hard about it, maybe it's just not in the cards for me. The only way I can quell the anxiety of these thoughts is to try harder, to move up, to increase my reach - sometimes I wonder if that's what this whole European tour is about. Feeling like I've got what it takes if I can just find the right place, and be there waiting at the right time.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Our Nature Lies in Movement
It certainly does. At least my nature.
Even as I write this, my leg is shaking, I'm tapping the keys as I reflect upon the next word I'll put on the page, and a quarter of my brain is considering getting up to take a trip around the building to see what's going on. Call it ADD, but I prefer to say that my brain has a high-processing speed. Sometimes I feel like the rest of the world is moving way too slowly, and that my time is constantly being wasted waiting for it to catch up.
Movement is important - it's one of the things that sets us apart from the dead. But along with physical movement, I think emotional and psychological movement are important as well. I believe that ending in a different place than where you started is inherently combined with growth as a rational and enlightened being. The more you do, the more you see, the more you MOVE, the more your brain will start to make the connections necessary to grow.
With that in mind . . . I have decided to pick up and move. To Europe. To experience life for 2 months as a broke European vagabond. This will DEFINITELY force some movement on all three fronts given:
I aim to cover at least 10 different countries in 2 months (if not more)
I never do anything by myself
I am a huge control freak and experience extreme anxiety when I have no control
Here is my initially proposed route (major cities/sites along the way):
Month 1
Copenhagen
Month 2
FLY TO Munich
For me, the deciding factor was Grandma P. sitting on her couch upstairs, watching "Explore Europe" dvds and talking about all the things she'll never do. And that is the most terrifying thing in the world.
Even as I write this, my leg is shaking, I'm tapping the keys as I reflect upon the next word I'll put on the page, and a quarter of my brain is considering getting up to take a trip around the building to see what's going on. Call it ADD, but I prefer to say that my brain has a high-processing speed. Sometimes I feel like the rest of the world is moving way too slowly, and that my time is constantly being wasted waiting for it to catch up.
Movement is important - it's one of the things that sets us apart from the dead. But along with physical movement, I think emotional and psychological movement are important as well. I believe that ending in a different place than where you started is inherently combined with growth as a rational and enlightened being. The more you do, the more you see, the more you MOVE, the more your brain will start to make the connections necessary to grow.
With that in mind . . . I have decided to pick up and move. To Europe. To experience life for 2 months as a broke European vagabond. This will DEFINITELY force some movement on all three fronts given:
I aim to cover at least 10 different countries in 2 months (if not more)
I never do anything by myself
I am a huge control freak and experience extreme anxiety when I have no control
Here is my initially proposed route (major cities/sites along the way):
Month 1
Copenhagen
Amsterdam
London
Brussels
Berlin
Prague
Vienna
CroatiaMonth 2
FLY TO Munich
Meet up with D-bo in Munich
Switzerland (Driving through the Alps)
Romantic Road, Bavaria, Rhine River Cruise
Venice
Florence
Rome
Cinque Terra
Nice
French Riviera
Barcelona
Ibiza
Paris
For me, the deciding factor was Grandma P. sitting on her couch upstairs, watching "Explore Europe" dvds and talking about all the things she'll never do. And that is the most terrifying thing in the world.
Monday, January 11, 2010
I'm Baaaaaaack - and More EMO than Ever Before
So – after taking a year off of “blogging” (as if two posts from last year really count as blogging) to find my voice, I am in the same exact place I was when I began – stoned and voiceless. I have too many thoughts rushing through my head to choose a path, and an unparalleled inconsistency in my motivation. I suppose I can say I am much less stoned than I was a year ago, now that I am a contributing member of society. Other than that . . . not much has changed.
A multitude of crappy, boring writers have joined the ranks of bloggers to congest the Internet with their earnest, misspelled ramblings, so I figure I should try my hand again – at least I've got a basic understanding of grammar working in my favor.
2010 is going to be a year of discovery. I am finally 25 – an age that carries weight, respect, gravitas, etc… with absolutely no one – but I feel different than I did before. Maybe this is because my upstairs roommate is 80, but I have recently begun to notice that life is ticking by, and all that waits in the end are your own questionable odors, dead lovers and friends, orthopedic shoes, a constant need to putter aimlessly, saggy boobs, loss of social skills and street smarts – oh – and death.
Seeing the end of the road makes a person feel that they better seize the day while they fucking can.
Whatever the cause, I have recently developed a sense of urgency about figuring out the point of my existence, and I am ready to get down to business. Finding some answers, discovering what life is all about, and all that noise.
This blog is mostly for me (sorry to disappoint) but it’s also for all the people out there who realize that even if there are no answers to the questions we ask, we can’t stop asking them. For all the people who find ambiguity necessary and terrifying. For all the people who are bogged down by their constant need to make connections between the seemingly random events in life. For all the people who subscribe to the theory that if you can just experience enough, the missing puzzle piece will appear and the whole universe will make sense. For people who live for adventure, and who have a craving to know more.
This is what my ramblings are devoted to. So long for now, we’ll see where this goes.
A multitude of crappy, boring writers have joined the ranks of bloggers to congest the Internet with their earnest, misspelled ramblings, so I figure I should try my hand again – at least I've got a basic understanding of grammar working in my favor.
2010 is going to be a year of discovery. I am finally 25 – an age that carries weight, respect, gravitas, etc… with absolutely no one – but I feel different than I did before. Maybe this is because my upstairs roommate is 80, but I have recently begun to notice that life is ticking by, and all that waits in the end are your own questionable odors, dead lovers and friends, orthopedic shoes, a constant need to putter aimlessly, saggy boobs, loss of social skills and street smarts – oh – and death.
Seeing the end of the road makes a person feel that they better seize the day while they fucking can.
Whatever the cause, I have recently developed a sense of urgency about figuring out the point of my existence, and I am ready to get down to business. Finding some answers, discovering what life is all about, and all that noise.
This blog is mostly for me (sorry to disappoint) but it’s also for all the people out there who realize that even if there are no answers to the questions we ask, we can’t stop asking them. For all the people who find ambiguity necessary and terrifying. For all the people who are bogged down by their constant need to make connections between the seemingly random events in life. For all the people who subscribe to the theory that if you can just experience enough, the missing puzzle piece will appear and the whole universe will make sense. For people who live for adventure, and who have a craving to know more.
This is what my ramblings are devoted to. So long for now, we’ll see where this goes.
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