Sitting on Faces, Babies, and Doorknobs

So I was reading my best friend's blog and I thought I would look around to see who else is posting to Blogger. I clicked "next blog," and found this.

And this.

And this.

In fact, in over 30 blogs browsed, only 9 were not a personal account of someone's kinky sexual exploration. (And those 9 were almost exclusively about babies, but more on that later.)

The fact that so many people are blogging about sex - and fisting/spanking/donkey sex at that - leads me to think that there must be an awful lot of sexually repressed and unfulfilled people out there.

There's also a lot of people who are into some weeeeird shit.

Sexual fulfillment is so important, but its more than just the frequency with which you fuck. Sometimes it's less about the orgasm, and more about what you get out of it, whether it's an exhibitionist thrill, an intense emotional connection, or a pass from doing the dishes. With all the shit out there that tells you what you want, there is a lot of pressure to stick to the script. But it seems that the people who claim sex is as simple as putting a dick-in-a-box are the ones who come out years later with a fetish for doorknobs, a collection of men's thongs, or whatever this is. So it's probably better to be honest from the beginning about what you want (MUCH easier said than done.)

Side note - does anyone else find it odd that Fox is covering the Tiger Woods debacle as news when there are earthquakes in Haiti to worry about?

In the name of full disclosure, I should admit that I've got sort of a weird relationship with sex myself. Growing up in a religious household with a super overprotective mother, sex was the one thing that was off limits, no matter how broke or horny I got. I knew I would smoke some day, I knew I might try drugs, but I was NOT going to have sex. Ha.

In hindsight, I hope my parents can see that the whole "abstinence thing" never works out well, especially for curious girls with a rebellious side. I mean, I'm no donkey-girl, but I still feel like I have my own shit to sort out in the sex department. I guess when it comes down to it, I'd rather be spilling my secrets to someone I can trust, rather than sharing my shit online. But who am I to judge? They're just looking for a way to fill the hole. That's what she said.

FaceBook - Helping Us Bridge the Generational Divide

A lot of people bitch about their parents/teachers/pastors/bosses being on facebook, but one thing I really appreciate about this trend is that I have had the opportunity to get to know some really cool older women who I would never have had the time, reason, or ability to reconnect with if I was living in the days of face-to-face contact, telephones, and letters.

One of my favorite people I have gotten back in touch with is my high school English teacher, Mrs. H. (shown below - she was kind enough to post this AMAZING pic on her facebook page.)



We sort of had a rivalry back in the day because I was a naive Christian Conservative, and she was an outspoken unrepentant liberal.

One time, she asked me during a fire drill if she was going to hell. Not knowing what to say, I explained that "If you believe the Bible, Jesus is the only way to heaven." (Laughably, at the time I thought this was a VERY diplomatic way to handle the situation.) She of course pressed the issue, saying "then you think I am going to hell!?" And I said again, "I don't know, I'm not here to judge, but the Bible says you need Jesus to go to heaven."

The next day, I found out that the sole topic of discussion in her other classes was my outlandish accusation that "Mrs H was going to hell."

I think she was mad about it even days later, because as part of a vocab lesson, Mrs. H taught 2nd Period that I was the definition of the word "Verbose."

In spite of her ability to talk some shit, or perhaps because of it, Mrs. H became one of my favorite teachers - she was funny and smart, she spoke openly about the time she hit on Michael Richards at a ski resort in front of her husband, and, as I said before, she could talk shit like a pro.

We reconnected over the last couple of months online, and she was very pleased to see that I had "come over to the dark side." If she and I were the same age, and had gone to the same high school, or lived in the same town, we'd probably be the best of friends. But we live hours apart and have at least 10 years between us - if this was still the 90's, I don't think I would have gotten this opportunity to be her friend.

As it is, I've loved having a chance to get to know Mrs. H as a real person. We even ganged up on some Conservative douche bag recently who hijacked a thread to claim that the gays are "the vanguard of accepting all sorts of dubious and harmful behavior" and that there would be "no equality if it weren't for the guiding principals of Christianity." It was nice to have a teacher on my side in that argument, although, it's futile to try and change a religious fanatic (but that's another blog post.)